


Past and Present

by thatmountainhermit



Category: Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst, Gen, Patton is the oldest hc, Poor Pat, but i accidentally made it angsty, the original idea behind this fic was a lot nicer, they all formed at different points, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-17 00:46:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12353925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatmountainhermit/pseuds/thatmountainhermit
Summary: Past /pɑːst/ 1.  gone by in time and no longer existing.Present /prɛz(ə)nt/ … 2. existing or occurring now.How times had changed.





	Past and Present

He had been alone, at first. Since Thomas’ instincts of trust and reliance on his parents kicked in, he had been there, burst into existence, born from fear and the unknown.

The first one, the oldest, making up the pure emotions, the first instincts. That was how Patton started. The memories were hazy, but he remembered the emotions. How alone he had been.

And then he wasn’t.

Curiosity grew, and grew, and then there was someone else. He came slowly, at first, wispy at the edges. In fact, they were both a little blurry at the edges, both young, both unsure, but all Patton cared was that he wasn’t alone. He told Curiosity all he knew, and of course, Curiosity ate it all up.

And then Curiosity tugged at him, pulled them into adventures and learning and poking at things that they sometimes shouldn’t have. It was wonderful. It was perfect.

The others came, in their own time. Creativity-turned-Roman, helped along by Disney movies. Anxiety-turned-Virgil, growing from part of Patton himself, flickering into existence on the first day of elementary school. But Logan had been the first of them.

Logan had been his savior from a lonely existence. His hero. It was unlikely that Logan remembered, but Patton did. The nights curled up together, before rooms and mindscapes and divisions. The whispered stories and quiet praises. Patton had been a best friend. Logan had been a genius.

How times had changed.

* * *

“Can you please contribute something useful for once?” Logan sighed, exasperated with Patton’s outburst. In his defense, Patton wanted to say it before he forgot his point - something he was still struggling with - but he had interrupted Logan. Again. And Logan was irked. Again.

Patton fixed a smile to his face, avoiding the worried look Virgil shot his way. “I’m sorry, I thoug-”

“No. No, you did not think, because you never think, because that is not what you do. You stand there and make puns and interject with uselessly childish comments and I would much prefer it if you stopped!” Logan snapped. His smile twitched, but Patton felt a rush of relief when it stayed in place.

Virgil held up his hands between them. “Hold on, Pat had a point. I’m sure he didn’t mean to interrupt you like that, Logan.”

Logan shot Virgil a disbelieving look. “How did it have any relevance to what I was just saying? Furthermore, he could have waited until I finished talking.

“It’s okay, kiddo!” Patton fixed his gaze on Virgil, pointedly avoiding the furrowed-brow look Logan was giving him. “I should probably go. Logan’s right, I am a pretty big distraction. And I think I left a batch of cookies in the oven!”

“But you never lea-” Whatever Logan was saying faded out as Patton sunk down to the safety of his room. The usually bright room was dimmed, and Patton let himself flop onto his bed, sinking into the soft blankets and pillows piled on top.

Hot, wet tears welled up, stinging his eyes. Patton choked down a sob as he pulled his glasses off. Pulling himself to the centre of the bed, Patton gathered his blankets up around himself, and shut his eyes, letting tears continue to leak out.

The room darkened further, the glow-in-the-dark stars making no improvements to Patton’s mood like they usually did. _Childish comments_. He had always tried to make the others happy. That was his job, as the heart. As the oldest. As the father.

_When had it all gone so wrong?_

_Since when did Logan hate him so much?_

_Did the others feel the same?_

All the fears, all the doubts, all the endlessly spiralling thoughts he usually shoved to the back of his mind sprang up. They crept closer, circling, circling, like predators around injured prey.

And then they pounced, swallowing his thoughts whole.

With a lead heart, he sunk into the artificial warmth of plush blankets, closing his eyes. Hopefully by the time he woke up, the others would have finished the video. Hopefully by the time he woke up, Logan would have calmed down.

And maybe by then, his mask would be in place again.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr at [princeyandanxiety](http://princeyandanxiety.tumblr.com)!


End file.
